WHOA!!!!

Hi Friends, sent to mail 7/21
I titled this piece "whoa" because I need to regroup, chaos is threatening, or should I say looming. I traveled a lot of miles in the last few months. Some of the mental miles (If you have PTSD then you know what I mean) didn't feel as tiring as the mental mileage I've gotten since being back here. I have been bombarded with some pretty heavy emotional burdens. I came back on the train at 7:30pm after having ridden the train for 12 hours. I was met at the station by my son and future daughter in-law and her 3 children 18 month old twins and a 4 year old. I am already Grandma to these kids and she is pregnant due in late August or Early September, with my sons child. I was tired and visited with them for a short time, at my friends house.
The next day they announced that my son had to go out of town for work and they were homeless. Well I couldn't have asked my friend if they could stay there? So I went with my daughter in=law to my parents house borrowed 50 bucks and took her out to Lake Michigan for what I assumed would be for a week. So, now I accepted responsibility for my sons problems and I have to figure out how to give it back. My daughter surprised us all with a visit, she has been working at a Christian Camp for the summer to help with her college.
She also knows that I'm gullible, and can become the victim easily.
Now don't let me kid ya here she loves Lake Michigan as much or more than I do. She was concerned about me before I even took my daughter in-law out there. I so hope I'm not holding her back with this disorder and my constant battles. Well anyway I struggled camping this time, which is something that seems impossible, at least for me. I love to camp and I'm quite calm and mellow given the right circumstances. I used to camp with both of my kids and have lots of fond memories. This time was horrible I felt like I was being tossed into a situation I couldn't control nor accept. Neither my son or his girlfriend have enough patience to be parents to 4 children. They seem to yell at the kids 24/7, and neither one wanted to chase them either. I tried to take them on walks as far as I could go, they are so cute and say some pretty funny stuff. I cannot pick them up because of my disc fusion, so when they bumped their shins or skinned their knees, we stopped and I comforted them and then we limped back to camp.
I was allowed less and less time with the kids and if I said anything to them for misbehaving I was undermining their Mother. I decided that I couldn't stay because I want to be grandma and if I can save them from being yelled at for a couple hours that's all I wanted. It just made her mad, which in turn made my son angry because she wouldn't talk to me but made him play the middle. I told my daughter that I was leaving which is when she told me that my son had lost everything I had left in his care. All the keepsakes I had saved for the kids, her awards and certificates, her diploma etc. etc, all gone. I had known about it and assumed that he had told her before then.
So now the emotions are really flying I told my son I was ready to leave and he informed me that he wasn't taking me back to Kalamazoo until the next day.
I was so frustrated and angry and confused I wanted out of my haven, the haven that turned into a nightmare. I grabbed the suitcases I have dragged from one side of the country to the other and tried to walk the 45 minute drive. I made it to the telephone before reason kicked in, and I decided to make some phone calls. I ended up sleeping on the beach until a thunderstorm came in then I slept on a picnic table in the pavilion. I avoided any direct confrontation with the kids and left not saying the things I probably needed to. I would rather leave it open than say something I might regret later.
So now I am trying to take care of my daughters college paper work it seems as we are 4000 short for her school this year. It has to be a paper glitch I just hope it isn't my glitch.
Oh I almost forgot! Not really I can't forget it like I can't forget all the things my Dad said when I was a kid. When I went to borrow the money he had to remind me that my son being homeless is not surprising because wasn't I in the same situation?
Well by golly he is right I am homeless and wandering around the country like a damned gypsy....