Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer

Sunday. July 7 2004 Sent to mail...8/21

“You have to say it to believe it” + me = recovery

I began this week by reading from a book a friend gave me, since I began my Journey with a book and I was reminded to seek clarity. I even stayed in a mission , and attended services and read from the bible. Heard a number of speakers come, who seemed to speak to me, and friends and aquaintences have each given me some sort of reading material. So I am not surprised that my friend gave me this one, I think I am ready to heal. The title is “Beauty For Ashes” by Joyce Meyer (link)
I havent gotten very far into the book I am on page 49…but the topic is “ receiving emotional healing” I can now identify things that make up the disorder at least in my case. I catch myself all the time being my own worst abuser I have to fix that part of me by: “receiving emotional healing” In the book she descibes her life so far as one which mirrors me, but for a few minor exceptions. She describes my inability to love because I don’t know what it is…She describes my guilt and shame….and again I am only on page 49 because I am amazed that I am not alone, there is someone else in this world who is on the road to recovery. Through Jesus “ all things are possible”. (quote)


I am in a panic mode, so I need to calm down.
I don’t have to run off to the beach , but I can go if I choose to go there.
I can stay here because I am house sitting for a friend when she leaves on vacation next week
Kid is ready for college
Other ones in the oven
Overqualified for a position at a Christian Camp, but underqualified for sharing the true
love of Jesus.
I don’t have to keep doing stuff I shouldn’t be, like moving around a bunch of too heavy boxes. It just isn’t worth the additional pain…I have a high pain tolerance and currently taking Ultram only when I can’t stand or sit….which is far too long to wait….I need to boost my metabolism. And I am off Prozac. I weined myself off them over a month as I currently have the wrong states medicaid.
I am processing options all the way through, considering the consequences.
Atta Girl