I am a Survivor

sent to mail 7/21

I can't do this...I can't pretend to be friends...By pretend I mean that you see no hope for a future...Where my hope is justing becoming true...We spoke (typed) about our fellow hope...and also said I am raw..my heart is bleeding it's been so wrapped up in barbed wire that I thought I might bleed to death...I can see myself changing for the better, accepting me for who I turned out to be...When I started my Journey I didn't know who I was, these last few months have turned out to be very enlightening. I discovered that I didn't want to pretend that hope of loving someone who couldn't love me back wasn't hurting me. It's difficult to keep that feeling of desperate hope alive, in a healthy fashion. I like that part of me who can find hope in even the most hopeless conditions, of which I have endured many. I am a survivor in it's truist form.
Yet I don't have to accept something in my life that hurts me, I can turn my scars into stars and fill the sky....