Almost 3 years later.. Still working on me.. Figured out I do a lot of fear based thinking. I also have survivor instincts which swim around the fear based thinking.. the problem is there is a very short leash from fear based thinking to fight or flight. True the rats of a couple years ago was indeed a get the heck out of here kind of moment.. but I am proud that I was able to slow down enough to know it..While I still flew by the seat of my pants in the move.. staying in a shelter until I found a place.. that's what they are for.. I am not afraid to ask for what I need in the physical realm... that is... emotionally I'm still in the normal fight or flight thing.. .. I kicked a 20 year friend to the curb.. I just can't be around men.. they don't get it ... I am worth more than a one night stand or being played like a violin. Still not able to see my grand kids.. she hasn't even let their dad see them in almost a year.. and he still struggles to find his niche in the world..he doesn't have the money to fight for them..*sigh I guess.. this PTSD is just going to be a part of the rest of my life just like is was .. I cant imagine ever knowing life without it..