Wow that was powerful stuff, I'm feeling liberated to a certain degree. A friend of mine had a hard time reading one of my earlier posts as my feelings smacked of a very depressed person. Let's face it I am. I need to find the connections to what happenend in my past in order to change the corresponding negetive path in my brain.
Now that I have identified that the flashbacks of being beaten for eating chocolate chip cookies had a powerful effect on me,I am going to try to explain what I have discovered. I discovered I could cause problems for this woman who professed to LOVE the seven stepchildren- heathens, yet the mere word "heathen" would make me scour the cupboards to eat again. Heathen was one of the nicer taunts. I was out to get the wicked stepmother, but at the same time I set myself up to be hurt, so I could forget about what was happening. Cause and effect.
I can't go back and fix any of my past but I can change the negative forces of PTSD. I will recover!
Sunday, May 16, 2004
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Retelling of the story has made it easier to say…
You know you have to say it to believe it…
Storms glide in to Kansas
On the wings of the gypsy
She is riding the energy of the new truth
But scared of her past
Why would you lie to your Mother?
Doesn’t she love you the most?
It might have been so different
Isn’t it strange that the inconcievable
Is the inevitable?
Full circle she has gone each direction
West, East, South and North
Nothing has changed here it’s still chaos
Brother divorced
Best friends father past away
Nephew couldn’t walk with his class “He looked stoned”
The bills are still here
No way to pay them
And the angel in my life continues to bloom
She was my guide
Never did she fail me
Or let me fall too far
I wish I could loan out my angel
To those less fortunate than I
The kindness of one can touch a thousand souls
Have you been touched lately?
“Why, yes I have” I replied
Touched by the grace of God
I didn’t have to ask my angel to take on more
She was already there
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